I was wronging both myself and the headscarf.

Hello.

I am 22 years old. After having spent 4 years veiled, I am one of those who have decided to unveil themselves. First of all, I congratulate you. If only I could encounter a platform like this back when I decided to unveil. Yet I was still lucky because I had dear friends who supported me despite all the defamation and mislabeling.

As a result of my family being conservative and constantly interfering with the way I dressed, I had felt choiceless. At the age of 16, I had to cover myself. Think about it; a family that forbids it to even wear pants. At that time I had read a book called “The Street of Peace” and it seemed as if I had surrendered to wearing the headscarf. Of course, all of these were subconscious.

I covered myself. Right after, my sister covered herself, taking after me. My older sisters had always been covered. Yet, I never had a conservative lifestyle. I always read, researched, and wrote. My mind was closed to no opinion. I went on trips on my own, hitchhiked through cities on my own. I was constantly in conflict with my family. I started university. I am studying sociology and everything is clearing up much more.

In the mornings I disliked the way I looked before leaving the house. The person in the mirror was not me. I loved my hair, but the only time I could see them was when I was at home. I constantly heard things like “Why would a person who had worn the headscarf once unveil herself?” or “You are so progressive despite being headscarved.” Also, my friends without faith had started trying to persuade me: “Your looks and your views do not fit.” So, my head was very confused.

I hesitated due to social oppression, due to what my family would say, due to my friends from university.

I knew they would glare at me, saying “Weren’t you religious, what happened?” And they did so, too. I heard gossips that I had not witnessed in my life before. Thankfully none of these mattered much. After all, I did not look the way I wanted and thought Islam restrained women. I had to be the person I wanted to be. I shouldn’t have been fake.

There was a headscarf covering my head but my life and my views did not fit the religion of Islam. I could not take that anymore. I thought I was wronging both myself and the headscarf. Yes, I have unlimited respect for everyone. Everyone should live the way they want to live, look like the way they want to look.

My hair is uncovered for 2 years and I wear the clothes I want. During those years, I had softened my family’s views by explaining to them some of what I learned in classes. Yes, they are still conservative, but not bigoted. They didn’t say a word. My younger sister who had taken after me and one of my older sisters unveiled themselves as well. Good for us all. Long live freedom!

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